“Bottle Top” – Anti-Advertisement
- By Michael Jardine
- Published 07/7/2009
Michael Jardine
I'm a person, with length, width, and depth. I'm not imaginary as far as I can tell; though my best friend insists that I am. I have an extremely dry sense of humor; which some have theorized would make a camel die of thirst. While we have not tested to see if this true; I have been barred from meetings for the local camel owners association just in case. I'm working on a series of books that satire fantasy novels. If it is a success, I'll be sure to write an unbiased review for it here.
I’m glad you are here, because man, do I have a great new product to plug! This time, let me introduce you to “Bottle Top!” (http://www.buybottletops.com)
What is Bottle Top you ask? Bottle top is an “innovative” new product that allows you to drink from a can, with the convenience of drinking from a bottle. You know how if you don’t finish a can of soda in less than an hour, the soda goes flat? Well with Bottle Top you can snap on a plastic bottle top to prevent this! But wait! There’s more! On top of your bottle top comes a *FREE* bottle *CAP*! That’s right folks, now, for a limited time only, you can get a *FREE BOTTLE CAP* with your *AUTHENTIC BOTTLE TOP!* Now, with your bottle cap and snap on bottle top, you can put a lid on your cans! That’s right! Lid your cans! Now when you are done with your soda, but there’s still soda in the can, you can put a lid on your soda can and drink more lately! All without your soda going flat!
But wait! There’s more! Thanks to our innovative bottle top design, if you spill your drink, all of your soda stays inside the *LEAK PROOF* (disclaimer below) plastic barrier! Is this a deal or what?! Think about all the money you will save on laundry detergent to remove those pesky stains! Now, how much would you pay for the top half of a bottle? $50? $100? $200?! How about $10. That’s right, if you buy now, you can get six, count them… *SIX* pieces of plastic, complete with a *BOTTLE CAP* for each !BOTTLE TOP* for only $10!!!!!! Well, $10 plus $6.99 shipping and handling. And if your order right now, we’ll throw in six, that’s right *SIX MORE FREE BOTTLE TOPS* for only the cost of an additional $6.99 (S&H). That’s right, that’s a 75 cent value, *YOURS FREE*!
Order now!
Disclaimer: Leak proof only in the best weather conditions, if the cap is securely fastened, and only if the can is already empty.
I am not getting paid to endorse this product. If you wish to order this product, click on the link provided. If you don’t, it is completely understandable and proves you are an intelligent human being.
