Translation: I have teenagers. At one point in their lives I was it! Their entire world centered around me. I coordinated their friends and their food. and their sleep. Then I was demoted to a walking wallet with keys. And now, I'm background noise. I'm just a hum. But that hum is important. Your teens may not outwardly express that they need you. But they do.

They tend to need you when they hit speed bumps, they've had a hard day or they just haven't connected with you in a while. They'll let you know in subtle ways, so I'm on the lookout for it in an intuitive sort of way.

I let them have some freedom and choose my battles. Sometimes I know that they are not making the right decision and I don't push mine down their throat to prove a point. Because when it comes to decisions with a low price tag (something that doesn't put their lives at risk), they learn faster if they fail.

I'm not saying I encourage them to fail or even try to prevent it. I'm not telling you I want them to run in front of a car and get hit to learn a lesson. I'm just telling you that if I see it coming and I offer my suggestion and they don't take it, I don't press. I've noticed they listen to me more often because I don't rule with an iron fist. They know when I'm going to put my foot down. They know where out-of-bounds is. And I'm not going to allow them to try certain things because it does put them at risk or has the potential to lead them down the wrong path.

The result so far has been some pretty great kids. It's not always perfect. But I do like the friends they choose and I like the men they are becoming. It's fun to watch. Most of the time. Becoming background noise is part of the transition. And in an odd sort of way being in the background is actually an important part of moving forward.