Aabners Stevens
Since approximately the age of 8 minutes Stevens has succeeded at nothing but failure. After failing in every other endeavor, he now storms the 'Net. "I will fuck up in no time flat!", said Stevens. "They'll kick my scrawny ass out of this toilette pronto!"
That's the spirit, Stevens, old man.
Let them get you down!
Blogs by this Author
Johnny and the Cheerleader
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/29/2008
We deserve them. We deserve John McCain and Sarah Palin. They will give this rotten edifice of a country one good kick and the entire thing will come crashing down. What was the United States of Am...
A Slight Movement in the Distance
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/21/2008
He sweats vitriol.Spits venom thirty feet.Blinds the bird to bait the dog to bring the girlWhose blood is whole and hot and pure,The blue reflections of her blue eyes in the darkened blue waters Of th...
Serpents May Make This Sound. We Are Not Sure. By Aabner Stevens
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/18/2008
I don't have anything down.I am not down with anything.Or done. It is always done with me.Wash your hands of me.You can't expectYes I canMe to kiss That.It is done all the time. A...
The Shadow's Length Tells Your Height by Aabner Stevens
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/18/2008
She is as tall as she isbeautiful,balancing her head on the grace of her neck.Once the center has been movedit is hard to find the way again, to backtrack through the thickeningfog the finch's flight....
Four Sides Plus Two Makes A Box
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/15/2008
A xanaxed, monosyllabic failure of a parentwants to speak to me in single word sentencesabout her truly sick, sex-offender sonand the degradations of the polygraph.A woman who lives on sore feet in a ...
An Intro to the Ghost Show
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/14/2008
At the reading I think I'll sit behind a screenwith a bottle of wine, kind of a Bukowski thing.It'll be be plain,the screen, something scavenged from Forgotten Furniture&Cash Advance.Shit, man, who ha...
Quick tips for Unruly Hands
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/13/2008
I was going to call this Quick tips for Fast Hands, but that was cute enough to make the average adult fwo-up.And, as usual, what I was going to write about I have forgotten. Which, actually brings m...
Office Supplies: Management of
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/12/2008
To Whom it May Concern, and it concerns every body who works in this toilet, but it Concerns ME most of all:I know you all think your are professionals. I can tell by the way you sashay by with that ...
Hide Your Password in Your Head
- By Aabners Stevens
- Published 09/12/2008
Turn everything off.You know, have confessed, you knowWhere the drugs are hidden.What did you say? Did you lead or were You leaden?(Kiddin')Your head has nothing. Turn it down.What am I he used to s...