Oct. 10, 2008: Osama bin Laden, from his suite at the Watergate complex, issued a statement today that he, and the Al-Qaeda executive committee, were endorsing Sen. John McCain for President of the United States.

“Seems like the sort of dude I could hang out with,” he said, on his way to lunch with General Michael Hayden at Solly’s Lebanese Kosher Deli. “I feel that he and I could see eye to eye and tooth to tooth over a mint tea and some nice Crescent Dough Lox. I look forward to shooting the shit- and a few Pakistanis- with him.”

He also mentioned that Sarah Palin would look real fetching in a burqa. “The ideal outfit for winkers.”

John McCain, taking time off the campaign trail to check out homes for senior citizens, said, “I am honored to receive this endorsement. As you know, he and I are veteran mavericks, old warriors, and have each spent considerable periods in enforced confinement, he a cave in Afghanistan, myself in the US Senate.”

In an unrelated development, the New York Stock Exchange was sold to NBC’s Saturday Night Live, where farce is profitable.