Even César Baldaccini, in his wildest dreams, would not have gone this far.

Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Saddam Hussein, Kim Il-sung, neither.

It went down this way. George W. Bush, Henry Paulson, Nancy Pelosi and a bunch of over weight so-called lawmakers yapped up a storm on prime time about “seeing this never happens again” and “protecting the US raxpayer.”

Finally, free market capitalism, and all its sweet-talking, folksy proponants have come into the open. With their middle fingers monumentally vertical.

It’s all, according to Nancy Pelosi, about “accountability” and “transparency.”

In other words, we Joe six-packs now know where we stand.

Shafted.

Oh, come on. Let’s not exaggerate here. You know, let’s be reasonable. Let’s not go overboard. Let's not be liberal, or Hispanic, or French. Or Canadian. I mean, it’s only 700 billion smackaroos.

Only 700 billion, including the pork those transparent lawmakers tacked on. Then there’s the 7 billion ole Terminator in California is blackmailing Washington for. After that, there’s the other dozen or so states with their sticky mitts out, several billion a pop. And it’s not over. Detroit. The big three, bankrupt in all but name, more billions there. And it’s not over. The airlines, bankrupt in all but name., more billions there. And it’s not over. There’s the zillion dollar advertising campaign needed by the US military to help out the Iraqi government that has a surplus big enough to match Dick Cheyney’s offshore bank accounts, to persuade the Iraqis that the USA is nice people. And it’s not over. There’s the other 700 billion that Wall Street will be needing round Christmas to repair the damage caused by the first 700 billion. And it’s not over. There’s the billions needed to pay the CEO’s Christmas bonuses screwed up by the first 700 billion that screwed everything up in the first place.

Now you know what happens once you raid the kiddie-winkies piggy bank.

Still. There’s a silver lining in every cloud.

The Federal Resrve’s printers will be working overtime. Christmas bonuses for all the engravers and inkers.

Nancy Pelosi said Wall Street’s party is over. Most of the CEOs multi-million dollar salary contracts and severence packages were tied up long before Nancy Pelosi. Christmas bonuses for the fat cats.

Nancy Pelosi will fly home in her taxpayer-supplied jet. Christmas bonus for the 60th Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.

Wink-wink, likewise, will fly home in a campaign (aka taxpayer) jet. Christmas bonus for Joe Six-Pack's champion who can see Russia while taking a dump.

John and Barack will fly home in campaign (aka taxpayer) jets. Christmas bonuses for the biggest egos on the planet.

Ben Bernanke, and Henry Paulson will sleep the sleep of the just, Christmas bonuses for having saved the asses of their Wall Street buddies.

The 159,000 who lost their jobs last month; and the 73,000 in August, and the countless others in the preceding months; Christmas greetings, and hang on in there, six-pack Joes!

For the 7 million Americans who have lost their health insurance, listen, good health!

For the 4 million Americans who have lost their pensions, hey, long life!

For the foreclosed, those who have lost their homes, their hopes, their dreams, their children’s safe havens, the United States Government wishess all of you the joys of dossing down with family, in your cars, under freeways, at hostels. And, oh, get lost.

And the polar bears swim on.