Computers vs Cars

You love em', you hate 'em, but anyway around it their here to stay. I could say that about Computers and Cars. I've got 2 now, of each. They both have given me good results and bad.

I think we should try to get used to them.

You may remember a time when computers were not around, and if youve ever worked in an office, you may look back on that time with joy, or wonder, or both. You always had to write everything down on paper. If it was a letter, and you screwed something up, you had to start over with a new piece of paper, and hope you didn't screw up too bad again. There was white-out, but it just barely helped. It looked like a slug had crawled across your page. Computers are definitely an improvement over that.

You couldn't get your money out of a cash money on a Wednesday night, there weren't any cash machines, on any night. I specifically remember going camping in the 80’s with some friends. We drove downstate, and stopped in at a little campsite. There wasn’t much to do at the campsite, so we decided to go into town for a beer. The bar had a fullsize pool table for a quarter a game, and beers were 75 c a glass. We walked out after a few each, and glanced over to see a massive plastic sign hanging on the wall…"MAC is here!!!" it said, in bold letters. Even this small town in slower Delaware finally had a cash machine (10 years late, we laughed). You couldn't pay your bills online, there was no online. For research you had to go to the local library, and look up some outdated information in an encyclopedia. However, there was the possibility you could easily miss a meeting at work. You could get stuck in traffic, and you couldn’t call anyone to tell them you’d be late. There were no cell phones. It happened all the time. You could go to a jobsite with a list of things to do, and not get much done, because you couldn’t call anyone. That’s the way it was. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that we could ever make it under those cicumstances. On the other hand, you didn't have to tell your kids to go play outside, getting them inside was the problem. I know, I was always outside!

For better or for worse, though, it's here. We are here, inside (most of the time), in the information age. We are constantly bombarded with information, albeit mostly useless information. I probably only need to use 10 percent of the knowledge I have aquired, the rest is just stored in my brain for use in stimulating conversations, which unfortunately are few and far between. My home computer functions similarly. It only uses a certain percentage of the vast knowledge it holds. I use my computer regularly. Not just the internet. I also actually use some of the software that came with my operating system, which is a surprising thing these days…

Here I am writing this piece on Word 97…I didn’t see much point in upgrading. This works fine, and I’ve still never fully learned how to use all the functions of it. There have been numerous new versions since, and I’m sure if I do finally upgrade, then I won’t learn any of their new functions either. I use some photo software regularly. I like to print out some pictures I take onto nice paper,, but I also like to twist them around sometimes, too. Once again, outdated version, that works perfectly well. I still like to play the occasional game of computer solitaire, or some other card game, without logging on, and being bombarded by advertising, while trying to find a game to play, just to waste a few minutes. I use some spreadsheet software on occasion. I like to pop open the calculator, and try to come up with sums or calculations about amounts of all sorts of things. Math can be fun! I wish I had taken that attitude in high school. I lost interest after geometry. I use AutoCAD. I like to build things around the house, and even if I don’t follow the directions, it’s still fun to create some 3-D image of an object, and then build something similar in reality. I have a few designs for things that haven’t been built yet, but could be, by someone, if they had the time and money. I still use "Paint" on occasion. You know, that sketch program found under Accessories under Programs. No one uses it anymore, well at least they wouldn’t tell you if they did! Well I do! I like to draw sketches with it. Then I can do some things that would take me hours on paper…like coloring in, or drawing straight lines, or whatever. Fun, again. I haven’t even mentioned the Internet yet…

Around the early 1990's, the Internet appeared. I even knew a few people who used it before the Internet was the Internet. A friend of mine would check his mail "online". He just typed a few sentences into his computer, and he had a list of sentences come back from various folks around the country. It was just lists of sentences in MS-DOS format (remember that?), running across the screen. At the time I was a drunk, so I didn’t give it much thought. It didn’t seem like there was any way this could get you free beer, or enable you to pick up girls. Little did I know…It just looked like something a computer whiz might find interesting. Who knew we’d all be at it soon?

As the Internet grew up, and changed into more like what we see now, I quickly became internet savvy, and found my way around all sorts of interesting sites. I was Internet surfing as soon as the term was first used. The Internet wasn’t so jaded back then. It was still fresh, and new, and fairly innocent. There were no guidelines, or let alone laws. It was like the freeest place on earth! It was almost like a hippie awakening! It was nerd Disneyland! There was no high speed connection, it all seemed high speed, compared to no speed, which is what we had before.

I rambled around to pick up more useless info. It was like collecting info, as if we nerds might be picked for a national Jeopardy tournament, and some use to all that uselessness might be found, a way to turn the lead into gold. The information age was upon us. Lots of people had genuinely good things to do online, good intentions. They made it seem like you were walking through some kind of interesting library of the collected minds of a million nerdy people. Sites about gardening, motorcycles, politics, you name it, it was all there. I would often talk tofriends about our online expereinces and which new and interesting sites we had discovered. There’s only 1 guy I still know who actively surfs for new websites the way I do…

Then it started becoming a mall. People started selling stuff online. Everyone started selling stuff. Everyone who could sell anything, thought they could sell it online. Thankfully, they couldn’t. Almost overnight some folks became fabulously wealthy: nerds driving Ferrarri’s, and dining on Caviar, and then the next day, they were almost Linux’ing up and jumping out of Windows. (sorry, that was bad!)

I felt the bite of that too, just before the bubble had swelled as much as it could swell, I put some money (most of what I had at the time) into some tech stocks, in some online mutual funds, and then watched as it grew massive overnight, and then plummeted back down overnight. Finally, in 1999, I closed the account, which was worth only what I had put into it, no interest whatsoever had been made in about 4-5 years of turmoil. After paying the early cancellation fees, I ended up with less than I would have saved if I’d stuck my money in a jar, under the bed. Oh well, nothing ventured…

We need to learn to enjoy our home computers, and treat them as we would a favorite old tool in our tool boxes. We love that old pair of pliers we got from our Dad, as a hand me down. We need to feel the same way about our computers...Case in point...

I recently had a series of break-downs with my home system. It started one day when I turned on my system, and there was no system. I first tried to determine the problem on my own. No go, the Help system was little or no help at all. You know, just like the Hayne’s manual. "Just take off the part", it says, "By unscrewing the 2 bolts" Not telling you that you need to refer to nine more chapters to remove 27 other parts before you "…just take off the part". I consulted with the experts. These were the computer guys at work, who told me which gurus I should take my system to. I unplugged, and was told it would be 10 days, before thay could even look at it, and then another 4 or 5 to fix it, they hoped. My Father said it might be the Power Supply, and we tried that.

The minute I opened the side panel on the system I was visibly and visually shocked. Thankfully I wasn’t physically shocked also. Not by the complexity of it, but by the lack of complexity, and all the room in there. I could definitely have shipped unmentionables inside working computers all over the world, before 9-11. There was just this power supply thingy (a box with a connecting wire, and a little fan), a mother board (I got the computer lingo down right away!),after the amount of trouble they give you I wonder whay they haven’t been renamed mother-in-law boards. This had some other boards stuck into it, in slots. There were a couple of drives-- just slots for a disk, or a CD, and a modem--just a board with a phone jack attached to it. I began to feel that I could actually fix this thing. Sure it wasn't my old pickup which was fixed with baling wire and bungee cords, but it was doable. After ordering two different power supplies, and waiting what felt like an eternity in between, we found one that fit, and powered my system. Just unplug the old one, undo 2 screws, plug the new one in, screw in 2 screws. That was it. I guess that’s what they mean by plug and play. Funny how so few people will even do that. New systems are flying off the shelves at Best Buy, but there are 3 aisles full of hardware they can’t get rid of. The computer geeks at Best Buy were genuinely impressed with my skills, and my lingo. I think it was also due to the fact, that I came in wearing dirty work boots, and a CarHartt jacket, and they had assumed that the only thing I could rebuild was a Ford Pickup or a deer stand. At work, the computer guys weren’t so impressive anymore. They just had more money than me. They just knew who to take their computers to. They have never undone the 2 bolts at the back of their computers, and drawn back the curtain to reveal the not-so-mighty after all Oz. Back at the ranch, the system figured it out. It rebooted. The screen came up with the familiar Windows look. I was amazed.

Next came the sound. I had not had sound for a long time. I was Internet deaf during the whole MP3 arrival. My sound had been taking a Napster (sorry again!) I never burned a CD. I still haven’t burned one to this day. Well, except for a stack of AOL online freebies I threw in the fireplace! One day the sound just stopped working, that was it, no warnings, nothing. It was there, then it was gone. Everything on the computer, all the little dials, and knobs, and bars you click on, and little pop-up windows told me otherwise. They all said I had excellent sound, and it was all turned on, and it was there, but it wasn't. Help was again helpless. So I bought a sound card. $30, I figured I could do it. I opened her up, looked for a sound card to pull out. Didn't see one. I figure the sound card was built in to my system. However, my system did have an extra slot, so I stuck in my card. It fit. Turned on, dropped in a CD for the driver info, and after some adjusting I had sound again. This was a real boost. I went to one of those websites, that has radio stations, and listened to music over my computer. This was great, it was like I was hearing songs for the first time! I listened to all sorts of different music from around the world! It was like this magical door that had opened, and I walked in. There was Techno, and Industrial from Germany, and Classical from other European countries, Reggae and Ska from Kingston, and Punk, and Blues, and Rock, and even Rap didn't sound so bad! There were talk stations and weather stations, and even some politics. Amazing! This went on for a while. You need some times without, to make you aware of what it’s like with.

About a month later, my wife and I were watching TV, and it started to rain. The wind picked up, and lightning was striking here and there.

A huge bolt of lightning hit a big tree in the neighbors yard. It was the biggest strike I had ever heard. It sounded like a bomb dropping. The whole house shook, in fact I was knocked back off my feet onto the couch. I got up and looked around. There was this weird fog outside. The tree that had been hit was about 150 feet tall, and stands about 20 feet from our house. If it had fallen, it could easily have crushed our house, and the next two neighbors houses as well. I ventured outside, hearing lightning crackling in the distance here and there, still windy, and foggy. The ground was littered with thick steaming bark from the tree. A piece of it was stuck in our siding. Literally speared into the front of our house. There were large chunks on the roof, and on our front porch. There was a tree limb stuck through the front light on the porch, and glass was everywhere. My truck had some small dents in it. There was a branch or two on the next door neighbor's roof. The tree, about 10 foot circumference, had the bark peeled off in places, and was steaming. It wasn't on fire, but you could tell it wasn't going to live through this experience.

Anyway, there was only some minor damage to things, so I figured everything was okay. I signed onto the Internet that night, and couldn't get on. The computer said no dial tone. I picked up the phone, and there was a buzz. Our lines had been cooked by the lightning strike. No big deal, we called the phone company the next day, and they came out and put in a couple of brand new surge prrotectors on our 2 phone lines. Great, went back to the Internet, no dial tone. After trying various settings, I finally unplugged my computer from the phone, and plugged in a phone. There was a dial tone. Talked to some computer guys, and they figured my modem had been fried. I had a surge protector before the plug on the modem, but the surge had got through. It was one big surge. Sergio Grande.

The modem took 3 tries before I got one that fit. Even so, I stuck with it, and did not resort to buying a new system for a $30 part. You wouldn't trash your car, because the mirror broke! It worked, but there were strange side effects...

Now my printer didn't work. More investigating. I searched for the original driver, (that's the software that tells your computer how to run the hardware, for those of you like me). I couldn't find it anywhere. But I did have Internet access. After a few searches I found a website with all sorts of drivers for all sorts of hardware. There was my driver available for free download from the central brain! Thank God for the Borg! (that’s Star Trek, not Bjorn). I downloaded it, but no luck. I found another version, but it didn't work either. I tried four more versions, but to no avail. Finally someone told me that the version for a previous model might work for the new model, but not vice versa. I downloaded the last printer's driver, and I got the printer to print. Well, sort of. It would only print this tiny , tiny typeface, all in a column. It was obviously dying. It’s life was passing before my eyes. It had gone back to being a TRS-80 printer! If I’d waited long enough it might have turned into a VIC-20 or even a Gutenberg Press, then maybe I could have sold it for something. This wasn't working. They didn't make my printer anymore, and I only paid $50 for it, after rebates. So I had to break down and get a new printer. Hey youve gotta get new tires once in a while, too. I've heard people say that if Microsoft made cars we would all be walking half the time. That might be true, but I bet we spend a lot more on our cars than any computer, and we regularly check and maintain them (at least, we should do that), and we don't use them half as much as our computers. I figure I sit on my computer, (with it on, most of the time), at work for 8 - 10 hours per day (minus the 1-2 hours of surfing, the 1-2 hours of snoozing while closing alternate eyes,and the 1-2 hours of walking around the office pretending to be mad at something, looking somewhat busy), but I only drive 35 - 40 minutes per day on average. But I still put 50-100 dollars worth of gas in my truck every week, and oil changes every 2000 miles, inspections, tags, titles, insurance, accessories, the list goes on and on. I'm sure it works out to about 1500 - 2000 dollars per year regardless of the age of your car. We never put that much money into our old computers, so the computer vs. car argument only works if we are driving a fairly reliable $800 car, or you have a mainframe taking up your entire basement. Sometimes you've got to add on things, that's all. The new printer prints, scans, and copies, and was a little more expensive, but I got some new tools which I didn't have before. Also, I made sure to keep the driver in a safe place. In case I ever had to re-load it. I keep the nine iron nearby also, in case my computer really needs some adjusting! Some of the old software I had, worked with the new stuff, so I'm surfing again, and not surfing again right now.This computing stuff isn't so hard after all. I'm sure that this printer will soon be replaced with a new model, and the drivers won't be available, except for download from the internet! It looks like the computer makers haven't quite caught up with the car makers yet, but that's okay, in time, besides there's plenty of internet baling wire and bungee cords. As my wife often says, there is always a way of finding something out, if you put your mind to it.