Montréal for beginners #2. Délicieuse!

Montreal eating. If you get off on food, you’re going to want to marry Montreal. It’s not the variety- and the whole world is here- it’s not the cheapness or the expensiveness, nor is it just the ambiance. It’s the people. It really is as if you are their guest at their own home. They want you to be happy, have a unique experience. There’s a family feeling, like you used to find in France, Italy, Spain and Greece before too much tourism and EEC bureaucracy killed it off.

Eating in Montreal is a joy for all palates and pockets. Macdo’s are there, of course, as are Harvey’s, KFC, but you can catch them back home, you want. Right now, we’re talking Montreal, and that means anything from a tiny laid-back Catalan tapas bistro, right up to your five-star-you-better-not-be-wearing-jeans joint with Limoges porcelain fixtures in the crapper, and a head waiter, his dental work cost more than you earn in a year.

What follows is merely a sound-bite. To do anything near justice to the Montreal culinary scene would require most of Google, and then some. Bon appetit!

There are four main gourmet ghettos: Downtown, Boulevard St-Laurent, the Old Port, and Ethnic (which covers the entire city). Except for the latter, these areas are literally snack-sized, easy for strolling, drooling, finger-licking. There is nothing more gourmet than a warm evening in Montreal, menu-shopping.

Montreal is laid-back. Unhurried, uncrowded, the way it never was in New York City. So, you wanna eat, you only hafta reserve at the up-scale joints and then, only Thursday and Friday evenings and weekends. However, and this is a big HOWEVER. Book ten days ahead everywhere for February 14. Montreal is a city of lovers, and they all love to eat out on Saint Valentine’s day.

Downtown.

This is where the bankers are, trying to find new ways of ripping us off over prime sirloin. It is where the ripped-off are, trying to have a good meal before the bankers take that, too. Seriously, downtown is where you will find every type of eatery, from fast-food, through pub, hip, hop, cool, right up to “I’m sorry, sir, we only accept gold ingots here.” Go to rue Crescent, rue Peel between de Maisonneuve and Ste-Catherine O, try the underground Babylon at Place Ville-Marie, try above ground nosheries at the Complexe Desjardins. And remember the countless breakfast spots, and that you can always get something cheap and cheerful along with a restorative java or green tea at any one of the Van Houttes, Second Cups, Presse Cafés, etc.

Boulevard St-Laurent.

Listen, I don’t go for ‘legendary’, okay? I mean, let’s leave that for ‘Entertainment Tonight’ “American Idol’ and ‘Larry King live’. But, I have to admit, Schwartz’s Hebrew delicatessen on St-Laurent is well, yes, legendary. It is also scruffy, neon-lit, the staff has a tendency to be rude, and at rush-hour, the lines are a pain. But. The smoked meat- oh, excuse me, the corned beef- is sublime. Okay. Nuff said. Check it out.

As for the rest, we’re talking either veddy, veddy up-scale, or we’re talking cheap n’ cheerful, and everything in between. There’s even a place you can buy your fish, your scampi, squid, whatever, have it cooked, eat it next door. We’re talking Portuguese, Greek, Vietnamese, North African, Spanish- Saturnian, you search hard enough, you’ll find it. This is Montreal at its most laid-back intergalaxial.

The Old Port.

Not only an architectural gem, unique in North America, but also the home to nearly two hundred restaurants. So, where to start? Summertime, try the charming terraces under the Greek-revival portico and the early nineteenth-century cast-iron columns of the Bonsecours market, or the more popular terraces of Place Jacques-Cartier. Then there are the countless bistros with secret gardens, the Breton crêperies, the pizzerias, the steak houses- the choice is yours. Stroll. Meander. Take it easy. Check out the menus. Pause for an aperitif, start off again. The Old Port is yours for the taking.

Ethnic.

Montreal is a million cities, especially when it comes to food. Italian, Greek, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Mexican, Spanish, Afghan, Catalan, Kosher, Polish. the list goes on forever. There is little Italy, Chinatown. Just be prepared to find yourself in strange parts of town. For the unique Montreal experience (apart from Schwartz’s, try St-Viateur Bagel early in the morning. Supposed to be bagel heaven. Or, you have a solid alimentary tract, take breakfast at la Binerie on the Plateau. You like beans? And be sure to ask around about Poutine. The only place in the world you’ll find it is in Quebec.

Montreal is a vast laid-back smörgasbord of culinary delights. The above has merely scratched the surface, nibbled at the rind if you will, but it will start you off. You can discover the rest during your next four or five visits to Montreal…

So much for the antipasto. For second, third, fourth courses- and the cheese dish- nibble on these selected websites. Addresses, pics, mouth-watering menus, websites, etc. There are hundreds more trumpeting what’s good, great and scrumptious, but here’s a better idea. Come on up, taste it all for yourself…

Montreal: general

www.tourisme-montreal.org

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montreal

Montreal: restaurants

http://www.restomontreal.ca/districts/montreal-crescent-street.php?lang=en

http://www.restomontreal.ca/districts/montreal-chinatown.php?lang=en

http://www.restomontreal.ca/districts/montreal-stlaurent.php?lang=en

http://www.restomontreal.ca/districts/montreal-oldport.php?lang=en

http://www.ziplocal.com/main.php?frmSearch=restaurants&frmLocation=Montreal with maps

PS: If you’ve driven to Montreal, leave the heap in de garage. Taxis are extraordinarily plentiful and not expensive, because distances are short, and they need your business. That way, you can enjoy an extra glass or four of Chateau Margaux and not get indigestion from de fuzz.